The dominant species is women and they are doing experiments on men.

So, what have we learned tonight? Never let women do anything to you regarding appearance, for if you do you will be humiliated for the rest of the night or even longer, forever. Not to mention you may look like a girl and smell like one too. And another thing, you may find yourself feeling low and even used or possibly disgusted with yourself, for when you take out the hair thingies or take off the make-up you will be ignored for the rest of the night, even though the “playing with your hair” was the most memorable highlight to everyone at the party. Men, I plead with you, please, please, please don’t let girls turn you in to one of them with their cruel experiments.

-Tim